I’ve been thinking for a while about doing a Vlog post, but wasn’t sure what to talk about. After my post yesterday and the response I’ve had from people, it seemed only right that I should thank everyone for their support ‘in person’.
The initial freeze-frame isn’t the most attractive, but this is my first attempt, so hopefully I’ll improve with practice!
I’m writing this blog post not to encourage any sort of pity-party or people feeling sorry for me, but simply to update you as to where my life is at the moment. My blog has always been an extension of myself, never focussed on one subject, but as the tag-line says “a little piece of my world”, so I want to be honest with you all.
Ok, here goes…
Basically, this past week hasn’t been great. Here’s the story (I’ll try and keep it short).
I started getting severe stomach pains and soon after began bleeding. Not being ‘lady days’ I thought it was a bit odd and ignored it for a little while. It would come and go – I’d have 12 hours of nothing, then I’d get the pain and bleeding again. The pain was in the right hand side of my stomach and could be so strong that I’d end up doubled-over in pain.
Eventually I decided to go to the doctors and get it looked at. I have a coil which is due out June 2013, so thought perhaps, with a year left to go, it was playing up a little bit.
The nurse carried out an inspection and said she would do some swab tests (sorry, I did warn you) and that she couldn’t tell if it was the coil causing the issues but due to the blood loss and pain, she would refer to the hospital for an urgent scan. She then gave me a telephone number for a Sexual Health clinic and told me that if it got too bad I should call the number immediately.
I went home wondering exactly what to make of the situation and if Kris had given me some sort of STD. I had myself checked last year and was clean, but he hadn’t been checked for a while, so obviously my mind was running over-time.
Having left the doctors and told my mum what they’d said, she asked if perhaps I could be pregnant. I said I didn’t think so, but decided to do a test. Negative. I was relieved but there was a part of me that thought “Well, at least that would have answered the question.”
I tried not to worry over the weekend and kept myself busy but with the continued pain and bleeding it was hard not to be reminded of it. I phoned the Sexual Health clinic and explained my situation, they booked me in for an appointment (yesterday) and said I could meet a doctor who specialised in coils and would be able to tell me more.
I went to hospital yesterday and spent 3-hours in there having tests. They found that I have an infection (not an STD, just a standard infection, which could have been caused by the coil or from being ‘too clean’ – bit of a back-handed compliment there!) Whilst I was there, I had to give a urine sample (again, sorry!) so they could do a proper pregnancy test. They tested it and came back into the room with a look on their face that told me something wasn’t quite right. Turns out that there was far too much glucose in there, so they think I may be diabetic. Great. As I was there I thought I may as well get everything done in one go, so they took a blood sample and are sending it off to have my sugar levels checked, to see why the anomaly is there.
Having done everything I had to do with the nurse and doctor, I then waited to see the coil specialist. She did what she had to do, told me that the coil is more or less in the right place and nothing to worry about, then dropped the bombshell – she thinks I may have Endometriosis. Again, great. She said that they would use a coil to help treat Endometriosis so she recommends I leave the coil in. Once the infection has cleared up, if the pain gets easier then I should continue as I am, but if the pain is still intense then they will need to investigate more.
So, in 2-weeks or so I should find out where I stand – I guess the one positive to this is that I have had a full MOT check! Might as well get it all sorted in one go, eh?
The other major thing that has happened is that I have to move back in with my Mum.
When I split up with my ex I ended up with loads of debt and over the years it’s spiralled to the point where it’s unmanageable, I can’t afford to eat (literally) and have ended up in a Catch 22 situation – I pay some off my credit card but by doing that don’t have the money to pay a bill, so pay that bill on the credit card thinking“I’ll pay it back next month”. Next month comes and I pay some off the credit card, then I can’t pay another bill so have to pay for that using the credit card. And so it goes on.
So, 7-years after moving out I’m going back to live with my mum. From a gorgeous 2-bedroom flat that I love, from having furniture, my own front door, a place to call my own… back to a tiny bedroom. I’m absolutely gutted but after years of thinking I’ll be able to get out of my situation one day, I’ve realised now that it’s never going to happen while I’m living alone. I can’t afford to pay for the everyday costs that come along with life as well as paying back my debts.
I’m just massively grateful and so, so lucky to be able to move back in with mum.
I think admitting the situation I’d got myself into was the worst bit. Telling my family that all these years I’ve been hiding the truth, trying to get through it on my own. Telling them, basically, that I’m a fuck-up. (Excuse the language).
Last night I got home from the hospital, laid on my bed with the cats and just sobbed. Then I went round Kris’ and cried. Watched some TV, went to bed and cried. (First time he’s ever seen me cry, eek!)
With the pain, the bleeding, the wondering if I’ve got diabetes, wondering if I’ve got Endometriosis and whether it’ll affect my ability to have children, and now having to give up my flat and my adult-life (or so it feels) and move back to mum’s – it just feels like suddenly everything has fallen apart.
I know I sound melodramatic and as I said at the beginning of this, I don’t want pity; there are lots of people in the world much worse off that I am – health issues happen and I have to deal with it, and the debts are something I got myself into (albeit without meaning to).
I’m just so grateful to have family, friends and a boyfriend who all care about me and are supporting me.
I wasfirst introduced to Oberon Jewellery by fellow blogger, Sarah of Sarahs-Scribbles. She was tweeting her excitement and delight upon receiving a bespokehand-crafted rabbit necklace she’d ordered and I loved the look of it sodecided to check out the rest of the collection.
Havingviewed the OberonJewelleryFacebook page and Etsyonline shop, I loved what I saw!
Thebrains behind Oberon is a lovely lady by the name of Sarah. As a busywife and mum-of-one, every piece of jewellery is created from a craft table inher living room and you can really see how much love and attention goes intoeach item when you see the final product.
Self-taught,unique and passionate, I spoke to Sarah to find out what Oberon Jewellery meansto her.
WHEN DID YOU START MAKINGJEWELLERY?
I first made jewellery when I was ateenager after a trip to Liberty’s(a long time ago now!) I bought some beads in their Bazaar Hall and madesome earrings, then took them apart again and remade them into variousthings. I still have the beads now! A few years ago I dabbledbriefly and sold a few pieces, but then life took over.
After undergoing IVF to have mybeautiful son, he had some health issues which took over, so my jewellerymaking was put on hold. Thankfully, my son improved enormously, I left mypart-time job and a couple of years ago was asked by a friend to make herwedding jewellery.
Although I started off creatingwith beads, the use of silver clay came about when a good friend of minetrusted me with a fair amount of her money to make her a silver bracelet. This lit the fire in me and I from then on I wanted to continue working withsilver. It took me another 6-months to build up both the supplies andfunds to make another silver clay piece (the silver print bird) but now I usethe silver more than I use beads! I love using the silver clay as it hasan eco twist with so much of it being recycled silver. I also think it’sreally adaptable for making different designs.
WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED, WAS ITFOR A HOBBY OR DID YOU START IT WITH A BUSINESS IN MIND?
It was definitely just a hobby whenI first started, but I began to believe it could be a business when myneighbour marched me to a local boutique with a piece of my work that she lovedand they showed an interest!
HOW DO YOU FIT YOURJEWELLERY-MAKING AROUND YOUR LIFE AS A BUSY MUM?
My son is at school so I fit myjewellery making around him, plus my mum helps out when I have a lot ofcommissions to work on, which is great. I also have a lot of very latenights as I love working when my husband and son are asleep as it’s so quiet!
IS MAKING JEWELLERY DIFFICULT?
It can be, but I love it! Ittook me until I reached the age of 40 to be able to say I was doing something Iloved. I’ve had lots of jobs in my life – from bars and shops, to lookingafter plants, being a dental technician and, lastly, being a school sciencetechnician! I work longer hours making my jewellery than I have in any ofthese other jobs, but I enjoy it so much more than anything else I’ve everdone.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PARTICULARPIECES YOU’RE MOST PROUD OF?
The work I do with silver isgetting better all the time – the more pieces I do, the more I can see animprovement, so I guess, in many ways, every piece becomes my newfavourite! I’ve been lucky enough to have had my jewellery featured inCosmopolitan magazine and I was commissioned to create a piece for thetelevision show Hollyoaks – I love spotting it on screen! But, aside fromthat, I love making pieces that are special gifts – the feeling of creating anitem that could become a family heirloom makes me very happy. I loveproducing bespoke items and turning people’s ideas into a reality.
DO YOU HAVE A PARTICULAR DESIGNTHAT YOU WOULD LOVE TO MAKE BUT HAVEN’T DONE SO YET?
Lots! I constantly have ideasrattling around inside my head – I have to write them all down so I don’tforget them and then I spend time sketching them all out. The biggestproblem with this is cashflow – I have to get a few sales or commission to beable to fund an ‘indulgent’ piece (ie one that I’m making “justbecause”). I love my customers to set me challenges and test my skills,in fact, I have a blogger at the moment who has asked me to create a piecewhich means learning new skills and buying new equipment, so that’s veryexciting! I’m also in the process of designing some pieces to celebratethe Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, so that’s pretty special.
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE YOURBUSINESS IN 5-YEARS TIME?
To be honest, I very rarely thinkbeyond the next few months. I had a wish-list of three things: to see oneof my pieces in a major magazine, to have a piece on television and to see acelebrity wearing one of my items – I’ve achieved two out of three so far,which is great! My hope is that in 5-years time I will still be makingjewellery and still enjoying it as much as I am now. It would also benice to be able to pay off my credit card as I’m always funding new materialsand equipment!
My son was very ill again last yearand his condition became life-threatening. He is really well again now,although there are some ongoing issues which can be challenging, but I feelvery lucky to be able to be at home with my son when he needs me and still havemy jewellery as a creative outlet allowing me to be ‘me’.
WHO IS YOUR INSPIRATION WHEN ITCOMES TO BUSINESS/LIFE?
Life-wise, my mum. She was asingle parent with a successful career as a Head Teacher and she brought me upsurrounded by fun – I had a very happy childhood.
Work-wise, it’s hard to say who myinspiration is. It may sound a bit namby-pamby, but I take each day as itcomes and I’m terribly disorganised – I still can’t quite believe I run my ownbusiness!