So far this week, Ben has been out with friends 3 nights and I’m going out tomorrow night, meaning we will have spent 4 nights out of 7 apart. This level of socialising isn’t normal for us, but with Christmas just around the corner we’ve got parties left, right and centre, and we’re making the most of it!
Now, let me say first of all, I love spending time with Ben. Even though we live together I still look forward to seeing him every night and I even stand in the cold for half an hour every evening after work waiting for him to get off the train so we can do the 15-minute walk home together. But, as much as I believe spending quality time together is important, I also truly believe spending time apart is just as crucial.
It goes without saying that when a couple first meet they are two very clearly definable separate people. They have different mindsets, different life experiences, different interests, and their own independent worlds. But, once you couple-up and settle down, your two lives combine and that individuality can so easily be lost.
I am a massive advocate for retaining the ‘me’ within your joint ‘we’ – you fell in love because you liked the person your other half was, so to lose that element of self seems a shame.
Don’t get me wrong, of course when Ben goes out I miss him, but having ‘me time’ is so important in retaining a level of independence and keeping your mind in order. So, despite knowing I’ll miss him when he tells me he has plans, I always wave him off with a smile on my face because not only is it good for him to get out and spend some time just being himself and seeing his friends without me by his side, but it’s also good for me too as I get to indulge in my much loved SSB – Secret Single Behaviour.
Now, Ben, if you’re reading this, don’t panic, I’m not talking about single behaviour in the sense of hitting the bars, throwing back shots and chatting up men, instead I’m talking about all those little things I love to do so much when I’m alone, that act as a little reset button and make me ‘me’.
My God I love Disco Bathtime! A fluffy towel warming on the radiator, a bath bomb fizzing away and Spotify on shuffle. Add to this a glass of wine and a small bowl of chocolates and I am one happy little Penny. I usually spend a good hour soaking, singing at the top of my lungs, and refilling the hot water to keep it cosy and I honestly have a blast. My brain is switched off and the endorphins are buzzing.
I have very recently discovered our walls are paper thin though, so it turns out that my secret Disco Bathtimes aren’t actually that secret and my neighbours have been treated to the delights of my singing all along. Soz guys.
Sitting on my sofa under a blanket with a cup of tea, the animals sleeping around me, and my fingers tapping my laptop keyboard is one of my favourite places to be. Ever since I was a little girl words have been my solace and to this day there’s still something extremely calming for me to be putting words on paper. I’m so glad my months of writers block are behind me, I missed blogging more than I can tell you.
I don’t know about you but, for me, one of the best food groups is definitely the ‘beige’ group. I’m talking hash browns, turkey dinosaurs, Yorkshire puddings, onion rings… mmmmm! I try to cook healthy dinners on a daily basis, so when Ben’s not home it’s my opportunity to embrace the beige and eat a disgustingly unhealthy meal. For some reason, when I have a SSB beige dinner, it’s become tradition to have a whisky with it. No idea when or how that started, but it works for me!
I’ve lost count of the amount of times Ben’s come home in the early hours of the morning after a night out to find me watching an old classic film. I’ll never forget his face, shortly after he first moved in, when he came home and found me, whisky in hand, singing along to every word of Mary Poppins.
An obvious one, but when I’m home alone for the evening, I can lose hours on social media – Twitter, Instagram, Instagram Stories, Snapchat, YouTube, Facebook, and then back round again… I can hop endlessly from one to the other and before I know it my TV’s telling me it’s timing out because it thinks I’ve stopped watching, and I’m reading the timeline of my old school friend’s aunt’s cousin’s roommate.
I love Ben and I love our life, but I also secretly love it when he goes out…
What Secret Single Behaviour do you indulge in when you’re home alone for the evening?