I guess there’s lots of reasons why people start blogging and, as time goes on, it can be easy to forget how and why it all came about. My blog is my ‘baby’ and I really love it, it may not be anything dazzling or spectacular, but it’s mine and very special to me.
So much time has passed since I first began blogging and I don’t ever stop and think about why I started, but reading Jessica’s piece today made me reminisce and made me want to cover the subject.
|My old blog’s style was very different to today’s one|
I began blogging because of a broken heart.
I’d been dating Gino (his nickname) for a few months. Just to make the situation clear to everyone, I had been dating HIM. HE had not been dating ME. As far as he was concerned I was just something to occupy his time. Unfortunately, being a stupid girl who was starry-eyed over this particular man, I was oblivious to it. Looking back, I wish I could jump in a time machine, go back and meet me and punch myself in the face. I was SUCH a fool.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, Gino and I finished the first time (it was very much an on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-and-off relationship) and I was really down in the dumps; in fact, I was a snivvelling, heart-broken mess. However, as a newly single lady, I decided the best way to heal my mangled, foolish heart was to throw myself back in to dating. I decided I’d start going out and meeting people, I’d join online dating agencies and go speed dating, and that it would all be very exciting and I would document the thrills and spills of my new life by way of a blog and a Twitter account. (I had spent far too much time watching Sex And The City and wanting to be Carrie Bradshaw, obviously).
So, I set up my blog, I started up a Twitter account and I started writing. I wrote about my heartache, I wrote about what a douchebag Gino was and I wrote about the exciting things I was going to do. I joined an online dating site and was astounded by the sort of messages I was getting from men. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with online dating, it’s worked for several people I know and they’re all very happy. However, I received such an inordinate amount of messages from weirdos and perverts that, pretty quickly, I deleted my account.
Soon after, Gino and I were on-again and my blog took a different direction. I wrote about my life in general and it became more of a lifestyle blog.
Fast forward in time to May 2011 and Gino and I broke up for good. It was like someone had turned the light on and suddenly everything became clear; he was using me and I was an idiot.
At that time, my blog was very much my saviour. That sounds ridiculous but it’s true. I struggle to deal with emotion; I don’t like showing weakness and I very rarely let anybody see me cry. At a time when I felt at my lowest, my blog was the constant for me. I didn’t want to tell my friends or family how I was feeling, but I could open my heart to my blog and it was cathartic. It was like shouting into an empty room – it was a release.
Unfortunately, on one of the occasions during our ‘relationship’ that Gino and I got back together, I deleted my early posts as I didn’t want to risk him ever seeing them. I kick myself for that now; I think it would be really interesting to look back at them.
After the final break-up, I was home alone quite a lot and so I was able to focus more attention on my blog.
Earlier this year, with my blog getting more traffic, I decided it was time for me to take the step and take it away from a blogging site and get my own domain. I redesigned the page, gave LilliesandLove a new look and with this fresh start, found a renewed focus and passion for writing.
If you blog, do you remember what inspired you to start? I’d love to hear, so please let me know in the comments box below, or if you decide to do a “What Made Me Start Blogging” post on your blog, leave the link in the comments box below – I’d love to take a look!