Back in October last year, I was invited along to review the refurbished and relaunched Royal Hotel Southend-on-Sea. Although I’d never been inside, I was familiar with the building having spent a huge amount of time in Southend during my college years, and Ben actually used to go there to watch gigs and dance around like a loon.
I always try to look for the silver lining in life. No matter how bad or sad the situation, I believe that if you take a step back and look at the situation objectively, removing any emotion, there is always at least a sliver of good to be found. (I wrote about this previously in A Tribute To My Sister – Finding Positives In Loss).
After being told of my Cancer diagnosis, I could feel myself shut down (my defence mechanism whenever anything hurts me; I have no control over it, I feel the stone walls go up and my capability to connect or feel anything of any note leaves me) and I knew my brain was closing down to allow itself time and space to process what it had been told.
Thankfully, 6-days after the diagnosis my brother got married. The timing for this was perfect for me, as I was so incredibly excited about the big day and so brimming with happiness, that the sheer level of emotion I felt for that stopped the grey cloud of misery from coming down completely.
Write a sentence. Delete it. Write a sentence. Delete it. That’s all I’ve done since I sat down with my laptop.
I’ve made numerous coffees, I’ve thrown the dogs toy for her, I’ve stared at the TV, but I’ve not managed to write a single sentence that seemed like an apt start to this post. So I guess the best thing I can do is to stop trying and just go with the flow. I guess the best thing I can do is just say it.
Cancer. I had Cancer. I’m ok now, I’ve had surgery, but there it is, the fact of the matter, I had Cancer.
To cut a long story short, here’s how it went…
I don’t know about you, but over the festive period my thoughts often turn to family. Searching for the perfect present, arranging to spend time together, and sending well wishes to those you can’t see in person.
One of the things I find most interesting about that time of year is seeing the different dynamics families have, the different ways they are structured and the traditions which are often individual to that group of people.
This was the second Christmas I’ve been with Ben and the way his family spend their day is very different to my own. Waking together and having breakfast, opening presents, cooking dinner, chatting around the table over turkey and all the trimmings, then playing games while drinking a cool glass of something refreshing.
As we all know, fashion and trends are constantly changing and evolving, new fads coming in, then fading out, before coming back round and swinging into popularity again a few years later (chokers, anyone?)
Working in Shoreditch, I am forever surrounded by people who are at the very front of the fashion times, rocking looks I would never be brave enough to pull off – my ‘style’ (and I use that word loosely) is definitely more jeans-and-jumper than anything that could ever be called edgy or fashion-forward.